It Could Happen to You Too.

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A Toxic Relationship

The Beginning of our Family's Shocking True Horror Story

"Moving in with his best friend's family would be the worst mistake of his life."

The difference between perception and reality all depends on how the story is presented to you, and whether or not you believe it.   At one time or another, we’ve all heard about something or read about something that sounds so striking and dramatic that we’re immediately drawn to it, (most commonly derived from a shocking news headline), only to find out later that it didn’t happen that way at all.  Either the details of the account had been exaggerated or there wasn’t enough information initially provided in order to have a clear understanding of the actual occurrence.  Although the Internet is crucial to bringing the events of the outside world closer to home, information that falls into in the wrong hands can become much more exaggerated than is truly the case.  No one should ever be put in a situation where they have to fight to defend their reputation against false accusations because of inaccurate information that was released to social media by a Government agency.  These agencies have been put in place to serve and protect our communities.  Unfortunately, because of this incident, I have lost trust and faith in some of these agencies after coming to the shocking realization that they are often the ones we need to be protected from.  Until the world can be represented accurately and moderately, we must continually be on high alert to protect our reputation as we fight to survive in a world of distortion.

The nightmare all started when my oldest son moved out of our home in 2012 after getting married and becoming a Dad at the age of 18.  Unfortunately, the marriage didn't work out.  So in 2013, after going through a personal crisis over his broken marriage, he moved in with the family of a friend he'd known since middle school instead of moving back home.  Having known them since he was 12 years old, they were almost like a second family to him, so I trusted that he was in good hands.  I wouldn't find out until later just how wrong I was.  Although he was welcome to return home at any time, I can only assume that his decision to live elsewhere was based on our overcrowded living situation as well as knowing that his younger brother had taken ownership of his old bedroom after he moved out.  Since he was an adult, I had no choice but to respect his decision.  He's always had an independent spirit, and that independence has enabled him to become a high achiever.  I am proud to say that by the age of 18, he had accomplished more in his life than most people accomplish in a lifetime, even appearing as an independent cast member in a movie at the age of 14.  Aside from his divorce, he had a bright future ahead of him. 

My son being presented his 2nd Degree Black Belt in 2011.  He is a well-disciplined  individual as a result of his training.

During the time that my son lived with this family, he had the freedom to come and go as he pleased.  He worked nights and would arrive at the home after his shift was over, which was around midnight, and enter without knocking as if it was his home too.  By allowing him to enter onto the property at his own free will, the relationship among the members of that family evolved into one of trust on his part, and the end result is that he became more relaxed and comfortable being there.  His comings and goings became a normal routine that no one questioned.  That's how close he was to this family and that's how trustworthy he is.  In return for allowing him to live there, he offered to drive his friend’s Dad to and from work since his vehicle was inoperable, and he also generously contributed to some of the household expenses such as food, gas, and even a Netflix account that the entire family in that household watched and enjoyed.  I know this to be true because my son is an authorized user on my credit card, and I have a record of all charges he made during that time frame.  Even though we were living on a tight household budget ourselves, I never once complained about the amount of money being charged on my credit card while he lived there.  Furthermore, at no time have I ever accessed or viewed the Netflix account that I was paying for, and I didn't have problem paying for Netflix service that another family was benefiting from while he lived in that household. 

Then in January 2014, my son was laid off from his job.  This would be the second time he would be affected by a layoff from the same company within a 13-month period.  Around and about the same time, some sort of alleged allegation occurred in the home where he was staying among some of the family members and the father was forced to leave the home.  Even though this occurrence was unrelated to my son and had no connection with his living arrangements there, he moved out of the home at that time.  It is uncertain whether he was asked to leave or if he left to escape the tension in the home, but for whatever reason, he made the decision to move back home and his best friend who also lived there asked to move in with us as well.  Before I even had children, I always dreamed of opening up my home to other children who needed a place to go.  My heart was more compelled than ever to help this young man since his birth mother had passed away when he was a young child.  He grew up living with various relatives throughout his childhood, and I wanted to offer him the same nurturing physical and emotional environment as if he were a member of our family.  Even though our mobile home doesn't have the capacity for a large family to live comfortably, we welcomed him into our home nonetheless.  

For reasons I still do not understand, the stepmother/homeowner of the residence where my son had lived with his best friend was hesitant to allow him to remove any of his belongings from the home at the time he left without a clear explanation as to why, but she later granted him permission to return and retrieve them.  However, each time he returned to the residence to pick up his belongings, he was asked to come back another time without being given a logical explanation.  It almost appeared as if she was purposely being difficult and stalling for reasons unknown.  This created a lot of confusion.  To my knowledge, he had done nothing to deserve this treatment and had shown this family nothing but kindness and generosity while he lived there.  Since I’m the type of person who would have gone out of my way to ensure that any items in my possession were returned to its rightful owner, it just didn’t make sense to me that he was having such a hard time getting his belongings back from another parent.  After this back and forth mayhem went on for about 7 months, my son informed me that he had spoken with his friend's stepmother once again, and her exact words this time were "N--k, you can come over anytime and pick up your things."  There are also others outside our family circle who were aware that this permission had been granted.  Being a concerned and overprotective mother, I made the decision that his Dad and I would go with him to the residence to help retrieve his belongings.  Nothing could have prepared us for the scandalous monstrosity we would encounter as a result of that visit.  If I had foreseen the outcome of the events that would follow, I would have asked a trustworthy officer to accompany us to the residence for our own protection.

Family is what's important.

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